No phone zone

Husband and I suck. We spend way too much time on our phones (though considering that he’s Israeli he’s really quite good at turning his phone silent and putting it aside) and we take them with us everywhere. He is worse than I am, which he will deny, but he’ll also deny that about housekeeping and driving and bedtime story reading.

I hate that we spend so much time distracted by our phones, and in an effort to keep us more focussed on what matters and to set a better example for the imps, I suggested we ban the phones from the bedroom for a week. Much to my surprise, husband agreed.

About a week and a half have passed and the phones are still banned (though I caught husband cheating twice today) and it actually feels pretty good to both of us. I don’t know for whom its harder, for him because he’s more addicted or for me because I can’t play with my phone when I’m up breastfeeding in the early and late (who am I kidding: all) hours.

What I do know is that it’s much easier getting out of bed in the mornings. And I don’t mean because we want to rush to our phones either. But because we’re not glued to our phones it’s much easier for imp 1 to motivate us to go push her on the swing or make fancy breakfast or get started on the to do list.

For me it also means that I more often leave my phone somewhere away from me throughout the day – husband doesn’t, but he does need the phone for work. It means I do less random online shopping (especially at night). I read more, because I can’t distract myself with my phone and I still need to stay awake for feeds. It takes me a lot longer to answer texts, sometimes days, because I simply forget. And I take fewer pictures.

Side note: I was just texting a friend, and she replied: “Are you still awake or do you have a phone in bed????”

I do believe that there’s a difference between simply not using your phone or actually banning a phone from a zone. The latter being preferable. When the phone is there, you still get distracted by the buzzing or the beeping or even just the mere temptation of just having to stretch a bit to reach it. It distracts the other people present, too, and it disrupts the conversation or the good night story or the song. I know none of this is new, but sometimes it’s good to spell something out again.

All in all, I love this new rule (the only caveat I have is that my plan was to blog while I breastfeed and now obviously that’s not gonna happen).

I really do feel more present and I think it’s so important for the kids and, let’s be honest, us, to disconnect from our phones. There was even one night when I was allowed a phone in bed because we don’t have an alarm clock other than the radio and I had to catch an early train and there was really no reason for the entire family to wake up (they did anyway, obviously). And I didn’t use the phone for mindless scrolling! I was quite proud of that, which is kind of sad in and of itself when you come to think of it.

Next goal: no phones at the dining table, even hidden. Husband, beware!

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